Growing Meaningfully
As soon as a family is blessed by a child, happiness and worries go
side by side-happiness of having a child and worries about the
child's future. However in the whole process we forget that the
child is an individual entity. In the context of children
education, Indian psychology believes:
"Every one has in him something divine, something his own, a chance of perfection and strength in however small a sphere which God offers him to take or refuse. The task is to find out, develop and use it".
On this fundamental belief of Indian psychology
it becomes evident that the process of finding that divine element
and bringing it to the forefront is the primary aim of education
and this process starts with the birth of the child; in fact it
starts even earlier when the child is in the womb of the
mother.
In the
development and growth of a human being, there are three factors
that play a role:
· Atavism and heredity that is beyond the control of the educator.
· Environment that can be controlled to a certain extent.
· The influence of soul or psychic being that is latent within every child. If this soul element can be brought forward to govern the life of the individual, it will give a totally different dimension to his/her growth and education.
We believe that children are like flowers that bloom when they are given adequate sunlight and water. Similarly, children also require appropriate environment, which allows them to bloom. Every child has a potential and it is we who have to discover and bring it out. All we want is that our children grow up to be people who will make use of their lives in a positive way and help others make their way to success.
Thus the very purpose of education is to create
the physical and psychological environment for complete development
of a child according to his/her nature.
Let us take a look at all the three factors and see how education can be made a means to develop them to their full potentialities in the flowering of the child.
Atavism and Heredity
We human beings are all prisoners of our atavism or what is called today the genetic factor. We inherit the traits of our parents and ancestors and more or less resemble our parental lineage; we find ourselves helpless in the face of these inherited characteristics. Then the question that arises is: Whether it is possible to liberate ourselves by a good education; at least liberate to an extent so that we can choose what we want and discard what we do not want.
It is here that parenthood and maternity come in and play a crucial role in the formation of a child.
Maternity is considered as the
principal role of a woman. However the importance of maternity can
be ascertained only if we understand it in true essence. To bring
children into the world instinctively, ignorantly or like a machine
certainly cannot be called maternity. True maternity begins with
the conscious creation of a being with one's own will. The true
domain of women is the spiritual that we forget too often. To bear
a child in the womb and allow the embryo to grow subconsciously is
not enough. Maternity can be perceived in the true sense when, by
the power of thought and will, we conceive and create an individual
capable of manifesting an ideal.
Parents therefore have a very important role to play in the education of their child. The first step towards this is to formulate in one's own consciousness the ideal that one would like to see in the child. This may be done on all the levels: physical, vital, mental and inner being. For example a couple may want their child to develop a strong, fit, supple and graceful body. Similarly some parents may want to develop virtues such as punctuality, honesty, courage and cherish the beauty of expression and clarity in thought.
Parents, often, give less importance to the true
education that should be imparted to children. By bringing up
children into this world, providing him or her with food,
satisfying his/her various material needs and looking after his/her
health. Parents think that they have fully discharged their duty.
Later on, the child is sent to school and handed over to the
teachers who take the responsibility of his/her education. However,
what parents should understand is that to be able to educate their
children, they have to first educate themselves. Parents have to
first learn all good virtues before they can teach them to their
children. Speaking good words and giving wise advice to children
will be less effective if parents do not follow them in their own
lives.
Parents therefore need to have a high ideal and always act in accordance with it and one will see that slowly the child starts reflecting these ideals in himself or herself and spontaneously manifest the qualities one would like to see expressed in his/her nature. Quite naturally children have respect and admiration for their parents. Except in rare cases, where parents are quite unworthy, they will always appear to their children as demigods whom they will try to imitate as best they can. Parents are often not aware of the disastrous influence that their own defects, impulses, weaknesses and lack of self-control may have on their children.
The Environment-Physical and Psychological
1. One of the most important things we have to do is to give the children freedom and leave them free to blossom; simply to give them the opportunity to see many things, to touch many things and to do as many things as possible. It is great fun. And above all, not to try to impose on them what you think you know.
2. Secondly, one should never be authoritarian, despotic, impatient or ill-tempered. When children ask a question, one should not give them a stupid or silly answer under the pretext that they cannot understand. It is always good to tell the truth, but the art consists in telling it in such a way as to make it accessible to their mind.
3. Thirdly, children must be brought up and educated in an atmosphere of love and gentleness. There should never be any violence. There should always be a gentle kindness and the parents and teachers must be the living example of the virtues the child must acquire. Children must be happy to go to school, happy to learn, and the teacher must be their best friend who gives them the example of the qualities they must acquire.
4. One very important pitfall to avoid is never to scold your child without good reason and only when it is quite indispensable. A child who is too often scolded gets hardened to rebuke and no longer attaches much importance to words or severity of tone. And above all, never scold the child for a fault that you yourself committed. Children are very keen and clear-sighted observers; they soon find out your weaknesses and note them without pity. When children do something wrong, see that they confess it to you spontaneously and frankly. After they confess, make him understand with kindness and affection what was wrong in their movement so that they will not repeat it; a fault confessed must always be forgiven.
5. One
should not allow any fear to come between you and your child; fear
is a pernicious means of education. It invariably gives birth to
deceit and lying. Only a discerning affection that is firm yet
gentle and an adequate practical knowledge will create the bond of
trust that is indispensable for you to be able to educate your
child effectively. Do not forget that one has to control oneself
constantly in order to be equal to one's task and truly fulfill the
duty which one owes the child by the mere fact of having brought
him into the world.
6. Up to the age of seven, children are not conscious of themselves and do not know why or how to do things. This is the time to cultivate their attention and teach them to concentrate on whatever they do. Parents should also try to develop right habits in their child at an early age. If bad habits are not corrected initially, parents will have to take lots of pain to correct them later on.
7. The children, although very
young, should be taught to put things in order and classify objects
by kind; one will notice that they like this activity very much and
learn very well. This is a wonderful opportunity to give them good
lessons of arrangement and tidiness. This is a practical, effective lesson and not a theory. Up to the
age of seven, children should enjoy themselves. School should all
be a game, and they learn as they play. As they play, they develop
a taste for learning, knowing and understanding life.
8. The body in its normal state, when there is no intervention of mental notions or vital impulses, knows what is good and necessary for it. However, for this conscious feeling to be effective one must educate children with care and teach them to distinguish their desires from their needs. Children should be helped to develop a taste for food that is simple and healthy, substantial and appetizing, but free from any useless complications. One must be very careful not to use food as a means of coercion and punishment. The practice of telling a child, "You have not been a good boy, you won't get any dessert," etc., is harmful. In this way, you create in their little consciousness the impression that food is given to them chiefly to satisfy their greed and not because it is indispensable for the proper functioning of their body.
9. Another thing that should be taught to a child from his/her early years is to enjoy cleanliness and observe hygienic habits. However, while obtaining these habits, parents must take great care not to instill into their child the fear of illness. Often children feign illness to avoid some troublesome obligation, a work that does not interest them, or simply to soften their parents' hearts and get them to satisfy some caprice. Children must be taught as early as possible that this does not work and that they do not become more interesting by being ill. In the general plan of the child's education, sports and outdoor games should be given a prominent place. Games assure good health for a child than any medicine can.
10. A child should have a sufficient sleep. The number of hours of sleep will vary according to the child's age. In a cradle, babies should sleep longer than they remain awake. The number of hours of sleep diminishes as the child grows. However, until maturity, sleep should not be less than eight hours, in a quiet, well-ventilated place. The child should never be made to stay up late at night for any reason. The hours before midnight are the best for resting the nerves. To know how to relax the muscles and the nerves is an art that should be taught to children when they are very young. It is natural that parents should serve their children or at least take great care of them. It is only if children choose freely to work for their family and do this work as play that the thing is admissible. However, one must be careful that the work in no way diminishes the hours of rest that are absolutely indispensable for the child's body to function properly.
11. We have said that from a young age, children should be taught
to respect good health, physical strength and mental balance. The
importance of beauty must also be emphasized. A young child should
aspire for beauty, not for the sake of pleasing others or winning
admiration, but for the love of beauty itself; for beauty is the
ideal that all physical forms of life must realize.
12. To achieve a holistic development of a child, it is necessary for us to first understand the child. It is wonderful to take the responsibility of a young child. All you need to do is the following:
· Never make a mistake.
· Never lose your temper.
· Always understand the child.
Parents should try to understand and see clearly why a child behaves in a certain manner and what is the child thinking and wanting to do. Parents should always allow the child to blossom freely and independently.
Development of the Inner Being
One must always remember that children under six years of age know much more than they can express. Often, children have a clear perception of what is right and wrong but cannot express it in words.
Surround the child with beautiful music, paintings and other beautiful objects.
Expose children to all that is noble, inspiring and uplifting; this can be done through narrating stories or allowing them to watch visuals because these raise children to a higher level of consciousness and bring them nearer to their soul.
Teachers and parents influence a child the most. The higher consciousness of teachers and parents influences the children to respond to the higher vibrations and therefore, they are able to come in contact with their soul.
Finally, while educating the child, parents and teacher should always keep in mind the following principle:
"He
will seek to awaken much more than to instruct; he will aim at the
growth of the faculties and the experiences by a natural process
and free expansion. He will give a method as an aid, as an
utilizable device, not as an imperative formula or fixed routine.
And he will be on his guard against any turning of the means into
the limitation, against the mechanizing of the
process."
